Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
