You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
