i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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