found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
