shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
