I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Randomize
