If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
