ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
