You just made me feel so damn special
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
All I want is dick and wine.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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