Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
