Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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