FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
operation have a gay friend backfired
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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