Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
