you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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