If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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