Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
