I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
