i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
