Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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