Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
