We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
