What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
