i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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