i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
