Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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