why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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