I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
