found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
