Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
