her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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