I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
