Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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