it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
