she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
