it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
