I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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