i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
