I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
