Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
