So drunk its hurt
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
