fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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