I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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