I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
