Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
