Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
