I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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