Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
