so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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