Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
