i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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