she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize