we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
third nipple confirmed
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
