my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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