How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Drake has all the answers
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
