But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
