i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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