I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
