Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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