oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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