Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
only you would photoshop your dick
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
