do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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