In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
