I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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