Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
