no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
