The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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