I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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