honey bunches of taint.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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