I cockslap morals
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
