I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
