sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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