ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
