also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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