Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
